Van, you are 12 weeks old today! It’s so hard to believe — the weeks have flown. Yet it also seems as though you have been with us forever. Last night I had a nightmare that I had to run for my life and you had been left behind. The action all shifted in that moment of realization; everything became about getting back to you. What a relief to open my eyes and see your precious face sleeping peacefully next to me, with your father on my other side.

My boys, you mean the world to me. I love the way you gaze at each other, the way you make each other smile and laugh, and especially the way you play. Daddy plays like no other. Zooming you around in the air, belly down, you are Commander Van. Air drumming and sleep dancing. Mirror talk. There is a crackling magic between the two of you; I could watch you together all day long.

We’re vacationing in San Francisco, staying at Gil and John’s funkyfresh Bernal Heights apartment while they are soaking up rays on their honeymoon. Their wedding was your first and it was a sweet one. You slept through much of the ceremony, only awakening to hear your mama’s reading of e.e. cumming’s where i have never traveled. Your dad kept you calm, as he does so well, and you ended the evening peacefully sleeping while a few feet away your parents danced joyfully to van morrison’s crazy love.

You’re sleeping now in the bed while we type away on keyboards (you are an amazingly good sleeper, by the way)…the sun is shining with a mighty force and soon we’ll head out to adventure together in this glorious city.